Relatively Speaking Blog

My mother was a woman of many qualities: caring, amusing, outgoing, strong willed, and a bit of a spit fire. 100 years ago today, February 6, she was born in Youngwood, PA to Marjorie Fowler and William E. Ludwick, also known as Bill and Madge. My mom was the youngest of three children and the only girl; her older brothers were Bill and Jack.

When my mom was born in 1923, the weather was cold and snowy. My grandmother Madge was at her in-laws’ house while in labor. The doctor was sent for, but my mother was not waiting for him to arrive. In the early morning hours, Bill’s mother, Mary Frances Ludwick, assisted with the delivery of her granddaughter. My mother was born at 4 am and was a tiny baby weighing a little over 5 pounds.

Whether due to the cold, the early morning hour or being on another call, Dr. McMurray did not arrive until later that morning. Since mother and baby were well, the doctor only needed to sign the birth certificate. However, when it came to naming the baby, Bill and Madge could not come to an agreement. Bill wanted to name his daughter Mary Frances after his mother who delivered the baby. Madge wanted to name the baby Helen Elizabeth, after one of her best friends. The doctor, being impatient, stated he was naming the baby after his mother; the name would be spelled ‘Kathryn’, and no middle name, which he officially recorded on the birth certificate.

Kathryn, or Kay as she was commonly called, grew up in Youngwood, except for 18 months when the family lived in Greensburg around 1929. From stories my mother told, her house was a place where she, her brothers, Bill and Jack, and their friends could hang out. During the winter, the borough would block off the snow-covered streets so kids could safely sled ride on them. Her house was near the course, and their cellar was open for the kids to freely go in and out to get warm and dry at the furnace, while her mother had hot chocolate for them to drink. On other occasions, the house was lively with their friends. The boys would play cards on the floor and the girls would make candy while they all listened to music—Kay, no doubt, was singing along. In her retelling, it was clear she had a lot of fun growing up.

Kay resided in the same town as her grandparents, Alpheus and Mary Frances Ludwick, and she visited them often. Also living with her grandparents was her Aunt Pearl. There was a piano in the house and Kay wanted to learn to play. Pearl who played, began giving Kay lessons, until Kay became bored with the practice songs and insisted she wanted to play actual songs. Pearl, frustrated that her pupil did not want to follow her teaching style, stopped her training. Kay then began teaching herself how to play different hymns and would play, as well as sing, those for her grandparents.

When Kay graduated from Youngwood High School in 1940 at age 17, she wanted to be a nurse. Her Aunt Jesse, who worked as a head nurse in McKeesport Hospital, tried to get Kay into the training program, but students had to be 18 years old, no exceptions. She had to wait a year, but when the next enrollment came, Kay had pursued other work and gave up the idea of nursing.

When WWII started, Kay got employment making shells for the military on the second shift at Robertshaw’s. After some time, exhausted doing this job, she quit to work at Young’s market as a clerk. Unlike today’s grocery stores, customers gave their grocery list to the clerk who would gather all the items from behind the counter. There were no cash registers, and adding the total cost was all done on paper. One of her special duties was to clean the meat cases; since Kay was smaller, she was able to crawl into the cases to clean them.

Kay applied to be a telephone operator in Greensburg, but being under 5 feet tall, she could not reach the top of the switchboard while sitting—she would have had to stand to reach it, which was against their policy. Rejected by Greensburg Telephone Company, she applied for a position at the Indiana Telephone Company in Indiana, PA in March 1946. After a 30-minute interview, she was hired as a long-distance telephone operator. Kay enjoyed this job and remembered connecting calls to Jimmy Stewart’s house and calls to and from Washington DC and other distant places.

Kay recounted one call she got from someone looking for information about railroads in Pittsburgh. Since her father was a railroader, she knew about some of those offices and was able to point the caller in the right direction. That caller sent a thank you note to the telephone office for the assistance he received in reaching the proper destination; Kay, operator number 56, got special recognition for her service.

While working as a telephone operator, a coworker told Kay “if you ever want to go out on a blind date, let me know.” Her coworker’s boyfriend had a friend, Raymond Brown. Kay agreed, and in May my mom and my dad Raymond were introduced. Six months later they were married on November 9, 1946; they enjoyed 51 years together.

Kay stopped working soon after and they started a family, raising three children. They lived in Indiana for about eight years, before moving to the Greensburg area, where Ray got work. They lived with her parents for a short time until they bought a house. After all the kids were in school, Kay worked at several different jobs part time. When Ray was laid off work, she took a two-month training course for restaurant work and landed a job in the kitchen at the Sheraton Inn Greensburg, which helped support them. Due to Kay’s strong work ethic, she became the head salad prep and remained at this job for over 10 years until she retired.

Two years before her retirement, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had surgery and went through chemotherapy and radiation treatments. With her fortitude, she continued to work until her 65th birthday. Once Kay retired, she took time to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, including camping trips with my dad, and time with her family, especially her three grandchildren, as well as friends.

After my father died in 1998, she began attending water aerobics to help with recovery from knee replacement surgery. Not one to be shy, she became a leader in the class. Kay would introduce herself to newcomers in the exercise class, give them an overview of what to expect, and hold doors for those who used canes or walkers. Kay recommended songs and even brought in her favorite music for the instructors to use, often singing along. During the holidays Kay had a wealth of headgear she would wear to “the water”, such as hearts for Valentine’s Day, and bunny ears for Easter. It was inherent in her to be happy and share that joy with others. Because of this, Kay was recognized by the facility and received a Volunteer of the Year Award.

My mom rarely showed her fears to us kids, displaying a brave face in the face of adversity. When she had another bout with breast cancer, this time a more aggressive form, she faced it head on and retained her strong spirit. At one doctor’s appointment, Kay sat in an exam room for over 30 minutes waiting for the doctor; annoyed that he hadn’t appeared, she started to leave. When they said she couldn’t leave, she said she wasn’t waiting anymore. They got the doctor who came in and said she was a spit fire. Embracing this, she took an old paper tiara with “Happy Birthday” and pasted on it a little sign ‘Spit Fire Kay 87’. She wore it to her next doctor’s appointment.

All signs of her winning this second bout of breast cancer were positive. But then she suffered a debilitating stroke from which she never recovered. It was devastating to see my mother, who was so full of life, have that taken away and spend her remaining days in a nursing home. At age 88 on March 1, 2011, she passed away quietly with her family by her side.

I wish there had been more years to spend with my mom; nevertheless, I am grateful I got to know and appreciate her, not just as my mother, but as the wonderful person she was. Although Kay was kind and caring, if someone tried to take advantage of her, her spit fire personality would come out of her 4’11” frame. She was not to be crossed. She always had a song in her heart, which might be why she had the innate ability to enjoy life, even in adversity. How my mom led her life was a terrific model: treat people well, cherish the days you have, stay young in spirit, and don’t stop singing.