Looking back as the year draws to a close, it has been one of ups and downs. The continuation of the Covid pandemic made it difficult to easily visit with others until the rollout of the vaccine gave some protection for people to get together more safely. We were able to be with family and friends for some occasions and were especially grateful for time spent with my elderly in-laws, Joe and Rosemarie, who went into an assisted living facility last winter. This summer both of my in-laws passed away, three months apart, and will be missed this holiday season.
Whenever an older generation passes away, I think of all the experiences and knowledge that is lost with them. Losing my in-laws brought back memories of my parents and grandmother who have been gone a while now. Stories I often heard from them have slowly become fuzzy. Unless we take the effort to remember our ancestors their narratives fade over time. Continuing family traditions is one way to keep their memory alive.
There likely are many holiday customs we observe just as our ancestors did, especially for Christmas. Exchanging gifts, attending a worship service, or gathering as a family for a meal are some examples. Whether the table includes a lasagna, a roast, or latkes for those celebrating Hannukah, serving a particular dish at the holidays may be something that has occurred for many generations. Lighting a candle at solstice perhaps has ties with ancestors from ancient times.
Observing family customs also connects us to our roots. Five years ago I wrote about holiday traditions and making fruit cake with my mother-in-law. While baking with her, she told different stories about her life, and how she started making fruit cake for Christmas with a recipe from her sister-in-law Gloria. We recorded a few of her memories during that day. This month Victor made fruit cake in honor of his mother.
Recipes handed down from one generation to another and made for special occasions keep the memory of a relative alive at family gatherings. When someone says, “this cookie is just like the ones my aunt/grandmother/mother made,” I imagine they are transported back to a time with that loved one. Food can link us with past ancestors, even if we are not fully aware of the connection, like the custom of eating sauerkraut on New Year’s Day, something I imagine my German ancestors did.
With the approaching holidays I was reviewing some recipes. I found one for my mother’s date nut pinwheel cookies. She always made the dough and the filling, then rolled them into logs that she brought to my house. Usually on Christmas Eve we baked the pinwheels and other cookies for Christmas day. These cookies always make me smile as they remind me of the special moments my mom and I shared at the holidays.
As 2021 comes to a close and the holidays speed by, don’t forget to take time to remember loved ones who are no longer with us. Find a tradition that you can continue to honor them. Gather with family and share their stories, especially with the younger generations. Make a customary dish for the holiday meal. Or bake some cookies. This year I am tackling the date and nut pinwheels and I know my mother will be close by in my thoughts to guide me. Happy Holidays!
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