Many families have long held traditions they celebrate, especially around the holidays. These customs usually are familiar routines from our childhood, reminding us of an earlier time. Some of these might even have been brought over from the old country, handed down through the generations and connecting us to a long family heritage. Occasionally the practices that we follow can change over time, evolving into a new tradition.
I remember around Christmas when I was little, my dad would put up the tree and I would help the family decorate it. As I grew into my teenage years, I learned the task of assembling the tree and soon the tree duties fell to me. My mother, in addition to decorating, would bake and make candy for the holidays. She prepared nut rolls, fudge and an assortment of cookies. I would help her in the kitchen and one year I decided to mix up a batch of sugar cookies from the recipe of Lucy Brown, my paternal grandmother. I was told that mine tasted like my grandmother’s and I
adopted making these cookies for a number of years.
After my father died, my mother would spend a few days with me during the holidays and we fell into some new habits. We attended Christmas Eve service across the street and afterward had dinner, listened to Christmas music and baked several different kinds of cookies, including date pin wheels, thumb print cookies and of course my grandmother’s sugar cookies. It was during these visits that my mom taught me the art of making fudge. Cooking it to the desired temperature is only half of the success. The most important part is beating the fudge until creamy and timing it perfectly so it doesn’t set before you pour it into the pan. It’s almost a sixth sense to get it right. Now that my mother is gone, I have fond memories at this time of year of the things we did together during the holidays.
Another holiday tradition some have is making fruitcakes. Some might joke that they are like bricks, but a homemade fruitcake is truly a treat. My mother-in-law, Rosemarie, has made fruitcakes for over 20 years and gives them out at the holidays. She started by helping her sister-in-law, Gloria, make them, and Rosemarie continued to prepare them on her own after Gloria died in 2003. She still uses Gloria’s recipe, which is fairly simple.
A few years ago, Rosemarie wasn’t up for baking. That year Victor assisted his mother with making them, keeping the tradition alive. Last year, I wanted to learn how to make them so we invited Rosemarie to our house and together we made 2 dozen fruit cakes. This year we went to her house and had another baking day, helping her make a dozen cakes. While the old tradition lives, Victor and I have established a new one—an annual baking day with his mom.
For me these traditions, no matter how small, help me feel connected to family present and past. I never met Aunt Gloria—although I have heard some stories about her—but by making her fruit cake I feel a kinship with her. The same way that I feel when I make my grandmother’s cookies. And although I have stopped baking cookies at the holidays—since I’m the one who ends up eating most of them—I still make fudge and can clearly hear my mom’s voice offering advice. Perhaps someday, I can pass this knowledge on to a future generation. Happy Holidays!
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